We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
