Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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