sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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