I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
