I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
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