dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
