he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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