I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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