she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
