At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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