Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
