I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
