i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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