wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
