Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
