she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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