Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
