I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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