It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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