Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
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I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
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That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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