Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
