He's been sleeping iwht ***
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?