Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...