he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green