Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on