I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
