Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
