So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
