His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
