Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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