I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
