On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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