how can u be prego again
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm like, not good at living.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
