Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
