i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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