I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
