benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize