I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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