I wanna passion pit in your ass
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
