if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You took a bar mat shot.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
