You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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