I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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