I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
