Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
