So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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