My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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