Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
it's like heaven, but drunker
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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