and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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