i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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