ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
