So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Randomize
