How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I'm really busy with my period
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