im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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