she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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