I love black thongs
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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