Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize